5 step process : How to be the butt of jokes

Method 1 :

1)make sure that you are in front of every body from grade 10 and grade 9

2)forget that the diaz has steps to climb on to

3)try to jump directly onto the diaz, remember its only 4 feet high

4)fall down in front of everybody present with one leg on the floor, one leg on the diaz and ur ass full of pain.

5)remember to show up at school the very next day


Method 2:

1)make sure that u are with 10 friends of yours in a bowling alley

2)also get angry at someone who keeps teasing you coz u cant bowl.

3)forget that u are over 250 pounds and run behind your friend who was calling you names

4)step on a plywood plank less than one inch thick which was covering a 2 foot hole

5)break the damn plank and remember posin for the clicking cameras with a sore knee ;)


Method 3:

1)Make sure that you are with 20 of yer friends, for that one last trip with college mates

2)see people boating and feel jealous about it

3)try to step into a big boat where only two of yer friends are sitting forgetting your weight once again.

4)put one of ur foot inside, if the boat doesnt topple, then put your other foot also inside. Now the boat topples

5)yell helplessly for help for u can not swim and u can not stand on slanting waterbed!!


viola, 3 ways to make a fool of yourself :D!!

Celebrity Face Matching!!

A chat conversation went like this, this afteroon..

her : So there's a site where you can compare your face to celebrity faces and see who most closely matches you.
me : what kinda site is that!!
her : check it out.

me :ok i dun wanna be compared to no1
her : But its interesting!
me : who is closest to u ?
her : i haven't checked out.But i'll do it.Apparently its a foreign site..

she started the test.meanwhile we were talking about my inability to remember faces. yaar its really bad, i really cant put a name and a face together!!

her : my face matches angelina jolie.also madhuri dixit it seems. Now you try!!
me : i dont wanna try. i know what i will get na. KING KONG! :(.
her : SHUT UP and try it
me : OK OK

This is when i start taking stuff seriously and searched for a good pic of mine. and came up with one that wasnt half bad :).
pics etiki etiki. i found that this one wasnt bad at all. and uploaded it.

waiting... (2 minutes)
scanning .. (another two minutes)
matching ... (cpl of minutes more..!!)
hey finally, i can say i look like some celebrity!! yay :D....
sorry cant find a face. please locate the face in the pic!!
what the fuck :O. alright, i will do it myself.. ok there you go..
Sorry no matches found try again.
tried again and again, still no matches :((.
i started thinking to myself, well lets try another one... the one with the trio would do.!!
p.s. from left to right its nikk, me and priya.
may be i will have better luck here. right!! ?
WRONG :(.
Priya : Wesley snipes
Nikk : Forrest whitaker
Me : WHO?? cant see a damned face you idiot.
thats what the software said. cant recognise my face again :O! so i figured, lets try framing my face again and then ask the damned thing to recognise it.
Sorry still no matches dude. better luck next time.
Luck my ass! i aint gonna sleep until i find the celebrity dude who looks like me. time to bring in the big guns. KING KONG pic, here ya go.

ok lemme explain something about the kingkong pic i have been talking about. its the weirdest , scariest wildest pic that i have featured in :D. and i was sure that some dude with a spiky hair wud be the match. and what did i get ?

ok before i tell u what i get please click on king kong and see what i am talking about.
it showed antonin dvorak
A god damned bald guy :X!! clearly the software is cleary messed up.

Next try.
Little Richard.
God damn you .... you stinkin software!! indaka hair chendalanga unte batta thala and now hair is ok aite eedini chupistava :X. damn !!

i just gave up. and thought to myself. well this is my LAST TRY. and went on with it. and who did i get? alois alzheimer. very apt i thought to myself!who else to remind me of the forgetful memory i have. may be just a sign towards what is coming ?

so if i were to believe what has happened today, then i guess i would be a bald headed musician who is going to die of alzhimers :D!! he he he..

it may not sound funny, but it was sure as hell funny while i was going through the process :). u should try it out some time :)

Story Of Twins..

It all began in the year 1984..

A pregnant lady went to the hospital for a routine appointment.
and by what i am told, the conversation went something like this..

Doctor : "something is wrong.."
Mother : "whats wrong ?"
Doctor : "dont know, but i would like to see u get scanned to see if everything is ok"
Mother :"Is everything alright!!"
Doctor :"lets take it one step at a time.."
Mother:"Alright.."

and the scanning was done and the reports were back , which said "Big Baby, Big Head"..

now you might be wondering what the hell is this all about, there are a few things that i did not mention :)

The woman who was pregnant had such a huge belly that everyone knew for sure that it had to be twins. and when she went for the regular check up, the doctor could make out (what she thought as) twins by feeling the body and the head, coz they were positioned in a such a way. But she could hear only one heart beat. So she thought that only one of them was doing well while the other wasnt.. and what turned out was that the infant was just huge , his body being mistaken for one baby and his head for another ;).


and the tragedy is, that the pregnant lady was none other than my sweet mom :'(
and the huge baby is none other than your very own pavan kumar yalamanchili :'(
and now u know why i am so huge :D also extremely intelligent ;)
got the body and brains of two people :D ..